Teaching children obedience requires three main areas-

Play

Loving attention

Discipline

Today we will look at discipline.  It has two branches:

mother training 
child training

Mother Training

How do you get a child to improve their behaviour? 

Improve your own.

A child feels your feelings. Be the calm in the eye of the storm.  Take care of yourself so you can be at your best (or thereabouts.....)  

I love the mother job.  Imagine being able to work all day with people you love so dearly!  You are creating a family and you get to design how it will be.  Think about your goals and ideals and find ways to make it happen.  This searching for solutions is one of the main ways you show your love.  You care enough to find a better way.

YOU set the standard in your home.  TRAIN and RAISE the child to this high standard.  Learn, ask other mothers, pray, do it with love, don't give up.  It is a job of contrasts with great joy and great frustration.

We can learn to handle anger in a good way.  We are not stifling emotions or pretending anger doesn't happen, we are showing them a better way to handle it. More on this later.

Avoid criticism, labels, yelling, threats.  These damage your relationship and bring contention into the home.  There is a better way.

Usually we get angry over repeated behaviours.  We try to be patient or ignore it, then get pushed to the limit.  Instead, write a list of common behaviours and think, ask, pray about a better way to handle it.

Believe it or not a child's behaviour is predictable.  Plan YOUR behaviour.

Make a chart :CHILD       BEHAVIOUR         MY PLAN FOR BETTER ACTION

Example:          Susie          Fights over toys   Show her how to trade for a toy
                                                                                   Teach her she can wait a few minutes until it is free

                                                                                   Remove either the toy or Susie until she can play nicely

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When you have a plan for how you will handle repeat behaviours, you feel more in control (tweak the plan if necessary), and it helps you understand that children can be trained- they learn how mum deals and what to expect.  So make your response predictable.

"Never argue with a two year old"  Dr Christopher Greene.  (or any age)

Don't try to fix everything at once.  What happens when people have a house on a busy road or beside a train track?  They tune out.  So a child tunes out too many orders. 

Later we'll talk about: "Say Yes -Teaching Children Obedience Part 3" 
Monthly Themes and Family Home Evening.

Allowing unpleasant behaviour to continue encourages the child to think only of themselves, to be selfish.  This character trait will marr all their relationships until it is fixed.  FIX IT NOW. 

 

It is much nicer to live with a well-behaved child. The contention in the home in much reduced, you can have many more fun family times when you can count on cooperation, and the tax on your energy and patience is alot less-this has GOT to be a good thing!  When I say well-behaved, I mean by YOUR standard.  As mother you get to decide what you want to teach.  You can teach alot but not everything.  See "HAPPY NOT PERFECT"

Obedience takes self discipline.  As a child learns this they become able to control anger.  They feel pride in their own  ability to control themselves.  They develop a strong spirit. 

You have been given this child from God to love and to teach.  
You are training their spirit to be obedient which will be of life long benefit to this precious little person.

Don't use sarcasm, guilt, threats, criticism, anger-  it does not work and increases everyone's unhappiness.  Instead lead positively by telling your children  how wonderful they are, give them a vision of who they could be, teach them  HOW, encourage them, love them.

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See Teaching Children obedience Part 2 for Child Training

 

-Lisa