Patience. You do have it. Just not as much as you need. You need alot. It takes a long time to develop patience. There are no shortcuts.
Though it does help to have to live with a difficult child. Then It's a matter of survival. Or alot of little ones - those "what have I done!?" mornings.
What patience isn't:
Being patient is not sitting quietly in the middle of chaos while the children behave badly. That's more like exhaustion. Or you don't want to yell and can't think what else to do, so you do nothing.
not fussing over trifles
overlooking the hassles and noticing the small progress
understanding and being WILLING to wait - for results, to feel better, to have what you want. (You learn good things while you are waiting...)
putting aside your own interests unselfishly (But not entirely, after all part of this childhood you are creating is introducing to your child the beautiful, exciting, interesting things life offers. These are largely determined by your interests and your talents and your hobbies. But let me tell you right now, while you are blessed to have children in your home, you will never have enough time to do all you want to do. But you can and will fit in some and this is a blessing to your family. To quote the little boy in the picture above, while playing ball with his family, "Everyone STOP!! STEP BACK! Look at the FUNGI !!" His mother loves to photograph nature.)
daily stepping back to look at the big picture - you are blessed to have a child and love in your life.
- you are entrusted with guiding a child of God
being good-natured, even sweet !, during stress, while you are tired. That is serious mother training.
I'm not saying you act like a martyr. I am saying you are in charge and are in a position to change, at least improve, those things that drive you crazy.
Often that means training yourself. Often that means training the children. (If you don't take the time to train the children, eg in obedience, you will have many more taxes on your patience. Easier in the short run to react than to train, harder in the long run)
If you are on a path somewhere - you have decided which small portion to focus on - you can more easily overlook (have patience with) the other stuff that still needs your attention...but later.
With all that I made minimal progress with developing patience - at least as much as I needed, until this quote came along:
"Pray for patience in your morning prayer and report (or repent?) in your evening prayer" N. Eldon Tanner
While you are asking God for help, and waiting patiently for it, think through your day and those spots that bring on that boiling, hot impatience rising up... pin point them and avoid them. You can predict what's going to happen - it happened yesterday - change things so it doesn't happpen.
EG Dinner time, baby on hip, 2 year old dumping things, mess, noise, not enough time - cook in the morning when you are not so tired.
A useful mother training game I like is to rate myself 1 - 10 on the current goal, in this case, how did I do with not giving in to that rising frustration? Did I respond according to my ideals or my temper? eg "Today I got a 3, but yesterday I really did deserve an 8. On the whole I am improving."
Every time you manage to hold back that harsh, cross word or resist that angry, annoyed gesture, your patience muscle gets stronger. Act as though you already have that quality you are trying to develop.
So:- Pray, Train and Wait
While you are waiting (to be perfect), the children learn good things.
Home is the place where we are nice to each other, patient with each other, patient with mistakes and mum shows us how.